Dad

Dad died on Christmas Day last year.  Hard to believe it's been almost one year.

He died peacefully at home, holding the hands of mum and Liz.  It's still hard to believe that he's not with us.  He was diagnosed with cancer in April, and went through surgeries and a bunch of other health hurdles before we learned in October that the cancer had spread too much for treatment.  Dad fought cancer hard, but was also peaceful about the news of death.  Much more peaceful than any of us were and still are.  

Dad had a slightly crazy off-beat sense of humor, and cared for people deeply.  He spent his life looking after people, and was always there for those greatest in need. 

Dad was an incredible father.  He was not a conventional dad and I don't know if he ever gave me advise or expressed expectations on us daughters, but he quietly supported our adventures and chosen paths in life.. even if they led Liz and I to other sides of the world, and often into dangerous situations or low-paid career choices. He loved, trusted and believed. He supported our passions-- he made a hide out of straw bales and watched badgers with me, he got up at 6am to go and check rodent live-tracks for 6 weeks with me one school year, showed me owls, went to the slaughter house and got me a cow head so I could add a cow skull to my "museum", boiled a fox skull with me, read hours and hours of books to us, taught me about bees and gardening, and shared his love of life. 

He loved his grandsons, and I'm so thankful they got to listen to stories and books with him, stomp in mud, find treasures on the beach, explore history, and play endless rounds of cards and dominoes together.  They even got to experience a cold damp evening waiting and watching for badgers with dad on the Isle of Wight. He came to Alaska, built our smokehouse and compost bins, and baptized both Peter and Leif. For three months during COVID mum and dad had a daily Skype date with our boys-- reading books together and sharing their love of stories while giving me a break to work.  

We played a final game of Rummikub with dad on the day we had to say our last goodbye and leave in early December.  Amazingly, we all got out in the same round on this final game, and we ended in laughter and smiles together.  Hugging your dad when you know it's the last time you'll ever feel his arms and love around you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and it still tears me apart thinking of the goodbye that day.  Dad we love you, we will always love you and miss you, and are so thankful for you in our life.